Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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