Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize