her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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