The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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