I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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