Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize