The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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