Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
