Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
