they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
