I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
