Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
North Korea, Best Korea!
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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