I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
is it fun? or sober?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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