You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
