I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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