You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Pants 0. Shit 1.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
