It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
