Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
