he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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