I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
