I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
