okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm bleeding and have questions
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize