A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
