she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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