Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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