We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
