i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
