ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
