I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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