Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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