Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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