u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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