is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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