chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
