i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
