She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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