drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
