just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
