I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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