you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
