I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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