She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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