I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
