I hate your face
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
