Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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