I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
