How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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