covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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