Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
50% drunk capacity currently
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
