id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
