I accidentally had phone sex last night
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize