do herpes really smell.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
