at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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